Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
