Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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