how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
