My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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