I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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