Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
