and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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