naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
