I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
