We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
