I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
