i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
