I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
