i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
