cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
