More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am puke
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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