So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
