Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
