I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
