Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
