plz talk dirty to me
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
