see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
