Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
