Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
