Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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