he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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