i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
