Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
