oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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