I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
