well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
