found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
