Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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