Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
