I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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