He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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