How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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