all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
