you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
