Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
