Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
