he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
