do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
