I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
