9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
