I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
