he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am mentally ready for anal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
