Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
