you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
