bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
