Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
